I cried myself to sleep last night. I couldn't let my children see me cry. A senseless tragedy and I am stuck in a place of denial. It cannot possibly be true, the news on every TV channel, the deluge of posts on Facebook, the pictures, the 911 calls... I don't want to believe that this is what our world has become. As a mother of two wonderful little boys, I have never been more thankful that they are still too little to understand much of the world around them. I am not strong enough as a person to find the words, to keep the tears from flowing. I don't have to ruin their idyllic view of the world just yet..
But sadly... I know that this won't be the last tragedy. Someday, I will have to explain to my angels about bad things that don't make sense... How will I continue to be able to make them feel safe, to keep them from being scared when, I don't feel safe? How can I teach them to be strong, when I just want to curl into a ball and shut out the world? I am grateful that this time I am spared.
My heart just breaks, the children that won't be home for Christmas, the parents and siblings that have been thrown into this vortex.. The families of the survivors.. My prayers go to all of them. Their worlds are forever changed in a way that we will never understand..
This morning as I watched the boys play, I feel like I got some answers...Pray... Light a candle... hold your children tight. But don't hold them so tight that they cant live and experience life. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring. You don't know when it will be your last opportunity to say I love you.
